It's Been A Tough Couple of Days....

So...last night was the wake (velorio) for the mother of the day care family that was killed in the car crash that I previously blogged about. It was pretty emotional, as you can imagine...and to my surprise, it was an open casket. You can tell that there was a lot of trauma to her body b/c her face was all swollen and such. Not that bodies ever look real; hers was definitely not like I remembered her. The coloring was definitely off...but I'm sure there was bruising from the impact, and so they must have had to use their heavy duty cover-up to conceal such markings. I honestly thought it would have been closed though....

This morning I went to the funeral. It was held at the grave site in Framingham. I was pretty sure that I had read that it was at ten o' clock; however, as I was driving and getting directions from Kerry over the phone (at work), she was like, "OH, you know it doesn't start until 11, right?" She said this as I was trying to find the street that the cemetary was located...haha.... This brings me to a side note (aka - rabbit trail). Recently, I have been in a complete RUSH for EVERYTHING!!! I cannot seem to get out of the house in time to be ON TIME...and honestly, I am getting SO frustrated with myself. I am constantly stressed out at the idea of being late AGAIN...AND...I have been leaving the house with TONS of stuff. From bags to coats to extra clothes to groceries, etc....I NEVER leave my house without stuff in both hands. It just means that my car will end up looking like a dump...b/c I keep everything in my car..........OK...enough of the rabbit trail.

Well, since I was an hour early for the funeral, I decided to run to Starbucks down the street for a Grande Nonfat White Chocolate Mocha (my drink of choice). It was delicious as usual....and it gave me the opportunity to de-stress and relax from being all wound up of the prospect of being a tad late to a funeral. Two things you cannot be late for: weddings & funerals. Super ignorant...and I didn't want to be lumped in that category. Well, after leaving Starbucks and driving back toward the cemetary, I realized, "Uh-Oh...I may need to pee b/c it is only 10:30 and I am drinking coffee...which is a natural stimulant of the good ole bladder!" Well, I ran to the nearest facility and came back...parked my car for a few minutes waiting for the time to slip by. I read part of Anne Lamotte's book, Traveling Mercies, which had been suggested by a couple of friends. I am really enjoying the book...Thanks ladies!!!

Anyways....the funeral started at 11. I had pulled into the cemetary about ten minutes of eleven...and stood outside of my car waiting for the funeral processional to arrive. The hearse and cars following arrived sharply at 11, and we all made our way to the grave site. The pallbearers carried the casket to the hole in the ground and laid her casket down. I'm not sure who began (perhaps the Pastor??), but someone read a verse out of the Bible and prayed for the service. He choked up during the verse, which obviously made everyone there weepy.

The husband spoke during the funeral. He spoke in Portuguese and I was pretty pumped that I could understand most of everything that he was saying. It was nice too b/c there was a translator...but he was very soft...so it was a good thing I've been taking those Portuguese lessons! He said (in my words) that he was so happy that everyone was there and he said thank you for all of the support and love that everyone has been pouring out to him and his daughter. He told everyone not to feel bad for him b/c his wife was sitting with Jesus. He said that God has given him a supernatural strength - one that God has been preparing him with for a while. He said that he knew that she was going to die (I couldn't get if he knew exactly at what age he knew that she would die)...but God had spoken to him and said that she was only his for a season...and at the end of that season, He would be taking her home. I'm pretty sure he said that it would be when she was 31 (she will be 32 in the beginning of February). He said that it was hard to live with this knowledge...b/c he couldn't share it with her...b/c she wouldn't understand and it is unfair to tell someone that they are going to be die in a determined amount of time. The strength that God has given him is AMAZING. I couldn't believe how well he was doing...but was thankful that God had answered my prayer for him. He told a story illustrating how he lived each day as if it were his last....He said that he slept with Sarah (his daughter) the previous evening...and was reminded of his wife who used to get slack from people (and by people, I'm assuming some of them would be day care teachers....YIKES) about having Sarah sleep in the same bed as them. Sirlei (husband) would tell Edilene (wife) that it didn't matter as long as Sarah felt loved and wanted. He wanted her to feel like she could be with them whenever...and that they needed to cherish these moments b/c they could be over in a moment.

Anyway...the service finished up with the casket being lowered into the ground, they sang a song in Portuguese, and then Sirlei tossed three roses into the ground. It was a tough time...I definitely lost it during several times...especially when Sirlei spoke about God's faithfulness to him and how he knew about his wife dying at some point.

Well, I hope all is well. Live each day to the fullest....pleasing to the Lord our God.

I love you all....
~Jen

Sad

So, I just got some horrible news. A mother in my day care got into an accident on Saturday some time...she slipped on black ice, her van flipped, and she was killed.

A little about this family. They are a Brazilian family. The husband/father is a painter and owns his own business. The mother was in dental school...very close to finishing and starting her practice. Together, they have a beautiful 3 year old named Sarah. She is precious. Very tender and quiet spirit, she enjoys playing with dolls and her friends at school.

I just received a phone call a few minutes ago and since then, all I've been able to do is just think about that poor family. The husband has lost his beloved...and the daughter, her mother. It seriously brings me to tears to think about their pain.

It's kind of weird....on our New Year's Eve service, Pastor Dave talked about the brevity of life - it is only fleeting like a breath. I know we understand that [the fragility of life]...but I totally think we take it forgranted until something sobering like this happens.

I'm trying to figure what would be an appropriate response from the day care. Are flowers sufficient? Or should we get people to make meals for them? Maybe I'll have some other Brazilian families step it up in that department. Any suggestions other than flowers or food?

Lord, I just ask You to be with this family. I don't have all of the questions answered...like why this would happen...but honestly, I don't want to know the answers. I just pray that you blanket this family with Your loving kindness. Be near to them....let them feel how much You love them. Be a salve to their grief and pain....
~Jen